Today has been a good day.

I finally had a good night's sleep last night. No nightmares, no coughing, no nothing! So that's an improvement. I'm hurting less too, less weak than before. So it looks like I'm over the steepest part of this hill. The medication I'm getting is still making me queasy, and when I finally got up I started having a coughing fit but yeah. I'm almost  better.

Also, ALSO! I finally got a hold of Joel. I have been calling him at 1 PM every day and finally he had his phone on. I didn't record the call, but I shall remember to do that next time. The general gist of it though was this:

J: Lucas, How've you b-
L: Where are you Joel?
J: I can't say on here, I don't trust phones.
L: Ok. Are you close?
J: Yup, how are you feeling?
L: Better than I was yesterday. I-I'm sorry about that by the way.
J: It's fine, I-we wouldn't have even been involved if I hadn't stumbled across-
L: Across what?
J: -Silence-
L: Across what?
J: Damn I miss you.

He then hung up on me. I rang him again but the phone was turned off. I left a message to the tune of; "When I see you again, then I will need to know everything about this thing you're so scared of." Either way, it was ten seconds that I wanted. I'd have loved to chat for longer but yeah, he believes he's on the run.

Joel, because you didn't let me reply: I miss you more. Come back in one piece..

~Lucas

Big Bad Wolf.

I'm improving, my throat is less painful today than it was yesterday. This medication that is making me feel like utter shit, making me puke every few hours or so, is actually helping my throat. Which is good!

I've been trying to work out who this "Big Bad Wolf" guy I keep seeing is. Each time I think about it, it gets more and more and more confusing. One part of me thinks. "LOLFURRIES!" and the other part of me thinks. "Holy shit, if this is the guy who made Joel run, then I should be scared."

But I'm not. That's the thing, I've not seen anything, not heard anything. All I have is the word of a guy who I met a month ago and a hundred or so blogs of people who may or may not exist and regardless of the fact I'm in a whirlwind of a relationship with him, that is not the best of evidence proving the existence of some tall skinny guy who has no face, or this creepy wolf from my nightmares. (Oh god long sentence!)

But at the same time, the Slenderman has captured something deep inside me, something primal, a fear inside me. I need to see in order to believe, and that terrifies me.

I just want to see you Joel. I miss you.

~Lucas

Going to the Dr's again...

Yeah, my sleep schedule has been pretty fucked up recently, and the antibiotics haven't helped at all. If anything, I've gotten worse. I've been coughing up god knows what. Not to mention that Joel has gone missing, I rang him multiple times. Hell, I even went to his house. His housemates... Uh... Well they know me reasonably well now, but as far as they knew, he had gone to see his parents. Now the issue is that I've not met his parents and even if I did know, I don't really want to knock on their front door and go "Hi there! I'm Joel's fuckbuddy/boyfriend-type-thing!"

However, when I asked his housemates, told them I was worried about him, I discovered that they were worried about him too, he'd been acting differently, flinching at noises and locking himself in his room. But they haven't seen him for a couple of days. Summary: It seems his coded comment (Thanks Aimee.) was his "I'm running away." note...

In other news, the dreams haven't stopped, but I'm kind of getting desensitised by them. It still feels painfully real, but at the same time, it's just a dream, I'm not getting as shaken up about it as I was before. There was a difference last night, I wasn't caught by the Big Bad Wolf in the forest, I was caught by Slendy. I can't explain it, it was like my soul was "drained." I still saw myself in my eyes, but I wasn't me any more, I was, I dunno, maybe a revenant or hallowed, the kind of thing you get in these blogs. One of Slenderman's servants.

And, if, hypothetically, there is a tall, dark, faceless thing out there. Judging by the blogs I have read, I will probably have little choice in the matter. I am not the kind of person who runs. And if you don't run then you end up broken.

Also I worked out the whole non caps thing. It was put in after it had been translated. As far as I can tell, the characters are:  "Love yew" Is that it? Is that your goodbye?

Joel, because I know you're reading this. I am giving you a choice and it is a simple one. GET IN CONTACT WITH ME! or FUCKING GET IN CONTACT WITH ME!

EDIT: Wait... Does this make me a clingy/jealous boyfriend? I dunno. Sorry Joel if I am... I'll give you some space...

Apologies for my lack of postage...

As some of you may or may not know, I am nearly as sick as that parrot from Monty Python. Turns out that my cough became a full blown bacterial infection on my tonsils. My muscles feel weak, my eyes keep wanting to close and sleep a little but I know I need to stay up so I can take another dose of those goddamn antibiotics! Two pills four times a day on an empty stomach... Not fun!

So yes, that sudden complaint over, I just realised that I have ACTUAL REAL LIFE FOLLOWERS! It's odd, I'm extremely not used to people reading what I write, especially this boring little blog about my boring little life. And so, my friendly watchers, here is a song that I thought seemed a little bit more appropriate considering the previous content. It reminds me of Joel a little bit.

I've gotta take some pills. Hope to talk more another time when this infection has died down a little.

~ Lucas

Well Date #2, here I come!

My cough still hasn't gone away, (It's been a week or so since I started coughing.) but considering that I don't have any other symptoms, I've been generally going on as business as usual. Really though, it's simply because I'm well enough to work, but not well enough to think straight. School seems to be the main reason I'm suffering though, lots of moving around outside seems to make my cough terrible. That plus exam stress means that I am likely not getting rid of this one until after late June...

Well, either way, I wasn't going to let some cough get between my meeting up with Joel on friday, dinner and a movie, just like him to be so sweet... Though a curious thing happened... The both of us went to the supermarket, got some food, and as we were walking back it was dark. I was coughing my way down the road, as usual, when Joel took my hand suddenly and led me down a side road... "Don't panic." He said, his face had grown pale, and the tightness of how he squeezed my hand had me clearly in the knowledge he was scared of something.

I was curious as to what.

"Nothing you need to worry about hun."

"Nothing I need to- OF COURSE I need to worry about it, you were perfectly jokey and relaxed a second ago. Then you suddenly went all protective and doubled our overall walking distance... If you're being scared by someone, you need to talk about it!" Well, at least that was what I thought anyway... I didn't say it, it didn't seem like the right time to say...

If it's a prank, I'm gonna tell him to lay off, at least whilst my immune system is fucked. If it isn't and someone's really scaring him then I'll get involved, the area he lives isn't exactly known for being pro-gay. If someone found out about us, he could be in a bit of trouble...

Apart from that, I had a good friday 13th, and a very very good saturday 14th. ^_^;

I'm gonna get some sleep before I start coughing again.

Night all.