Tonight

Ok ok. Tonight. We're meeting. Ten minutes or so from now. Joel has been pretty quiet recently, getting himself together and we're walking there and typing this message. The location is an abandoned office block, still not going to give the city, it's too risky. I don't want to risk leading the Wolf there. We checked it out during daylight but it's dark now. Thus making anything we saw then, ten times creepier...

Also, we've set a post, a little message from each of us should we not make it or have the time to reset the post timer. If we don't, it probably means we're either, dead. (The best possibility as far as I can tell.) Kidnapped. Hallowed or god knows what...

Of course, this implies that we're gonna die!!!!11!!!11!!!! We've walked into dangerous situations before and come out breathing. I feel good about this... Even though I do, I still have my new best friend. It's a cricket bat. Joel let me draw a smiley face on it. It's called Batamon. I don't want to use Batamon, but if I have to, then I have to. 

I wonder, if I hit Slendy in the face with it, whilst the ink was still wet, would the imprint be enough to give him a face so everyone likes him?

Everyone needs a little bit of sillyness, even if they're running, especially when they're running. It distracts me from the pain in my shoulder and my finger.

~Lucas

So many questions.

Sorry again, we've been busy recently. Pretty much as soon as we got to bed that time, we had people hammering on our door. They said they were police, but Lucas was clutching his head again, muttering about the fog. I was panicking about what would happen if they got their way in, I took the wrench, pushed things to the door to keep whatever was trying to get in, out.

Then we heard gunshots.

Just a "pop pop pop." It seemed too quiet for gunshot, maybe it was silenced and then the hammering stopped. I heard something fall from outside, or at least hit the floor. I looked at Lucas, he was crying, scratching at his shoulder like it was killing him.

I ran to him, getting his hand from the wound and examined it. It didn't look infected but he was complaining that it hurt. I gave him some ibuprofen we had in the kit and he went to sleep whilst I kept watch. Note to self: I need to restock that thing. We're getting through it pretty quickly...

The next morning, everything had been pulled away from the door. I don't know how, I don't remember sleeping, but we're both here and nothing seems to have been taken. I looked out the door, looking at the carpet mostly, there was a little blood on there and on the door handle outside.

That and we found a note, it was handwritten on a blank piece of paper, and gave a time, (Not telling for our own safety,) date, (two days from now.) and GPS coordinates. (See: "time") There is always a possibility this could be a part of the PTC or something like that, but at the same time I keep thinking about the guys who interviewed us. I wonder if they had us followed and when they saw we were in trouble, they intervened...

We're getting out of here, it's clear that although Slendy has been absent over here, He still can get us if He wants. He has proxies for that reason I bet...

Me and Lucas discussed what our next move is and we decided that we're getting better armed. A single wrench can't save us forever. (Much to my disappointment. D= ) We're getting Lucas a weapon of some description, probably a cricket bat, and we're going to get masks, maybe they have something about them that could help us.

After that we're gonna show up at the location. After that we're gonna take things as they come. If no one shows or it's a trap, we're getting out of the UK.

Also, we prettified the blog, figured that blue was getting a little boring.

Best of luck to you all.

Don't stop running.

-Joel

This belonged to my Dad.

I picked it up when we went home the second time, it seemed appropriate to post it right now. The words say "Saint Christopher Protect Us." Sorry for the shadow, the flash just made the entire thing shine like it was a Christmas tree.

Joel, after my family died... He did the right thing and called the police about it from a payphone nearby. Saying that he'd found my family dead and hung up. Well, they are still dead, but as far as what happened to them... Carbon Monoxide...

Either way, I just spent the rest of the afternoon in a police station, answering this Detective Inspector Stroud's questions along with Joel. We'd planned before, gotten something in place.

The thing is, he was asking questions I would expect from a murder investigation... Like, he was seriously grilling me about it...

"Where was I when they died?" I was at Joel's house. (Meeting Joel in the park.)

"What was I doing?" I can't remember, sex most likely. (Talking about how I needed to head home again...)

"What about after?" I was going to introduce him to my parents, still hadn't come out to them and wanted his support. (I went home to pick up a few things and get taken by a freak with a knife.)

"Why did you run?" I couldn't stay there, I saw everyone dead and I just ran. (I spent a week getting beaten, bruised, broken.)

"How did you hurt your finger?" I don't remember, the week after that is just a blur, we just travelled. Anywhere there was a bus. Joel looked after me when it happened though. I... I dislike hosptials. (That was a half truth: I remember too well what happened, but there are times the fog just made me completely out of it, like blurs in my memories.)

Then he stopped the tape, looked at me straight in the eye and said: "This is the third one in two years. Far more have happened in America. I can't tell you who I work for, but we are on the same side... Tell me what happened, exactly."
So you're not a DI?
"Nope."
 I can't tell you anything... That's how it works... If I tell you, or help you discover him. You and yours are at risk...


He smacked the desk. "They ALL fucking say that! I don't care if it's some ghost of christmas past come back to murder people. What is done to them is beyond the capabilities of a normal human." At this point I had pushed the chair back away from him, scared, whilst he stood and rounded on me. "So you had better tell me. I am not in the mood for games."
You know it's supernatural?
"Yes I know it's supernatural."
Then you should know that you are out of your depth. All I know is that I stumbled across this picture and I met Joel, and almost everything since then has been terrible. I don't know anything much... I lost my finger to one of His minions and I am far more terrified of staying trapped and unable to run from him than I am of you. The best way of preventing it is for me to keep my mouth firmly shut.


That seemed to sate him and I was released from their custody. I compared notes with Joel, he had a similar experience with another "Detective Inspector..."

But who are these people? MI 5? MI 6? What about MI 1? I don't know, and I don't think I want to know. If they are here then it's a good thing. But at the same time... If they're flummoxed by this, I can't say we're going to fare better.

So yes, today was both an incredibly good day, and an incredibly confusing/annoying one. But perhaps We're not the only British runners, or maybe they are all dead. I just don't fucking know. Either way, I'm determined to go to the beach again tomorrow, make a proper day of it without getting dragged into all of this shit. I want us to have fun, enjoy ourselves.

The fog in my brain has cleared, I'm going to get some sleep.

~ Lucas

The beach!

Shit... I feel infected, dirty, disgusting, corrupt, any other adjective that escapes me and means something similar. But I'm at the beach, we spent today there. Swimming, (the salt is a little painful on my shoulder but it's nice to feel water again,) laughing or just holding hands listening to the wax and wane of the sea. I don't care it was cold, but there is something about being here, (possibly the sea air,) that makes me feel wonderful. I'm happy for the first time in a good long time, and no amount of fog can stop me! (Definitely the sea air.)

The sea always excites my curiosity, sure we can think of the massiveness of the sun or the universe. But why do we look up, when we don't even know what is at the bottom of the ocean? It's only been extremely recently, that engineering has allowed us to make subs which can withstand the extreme pressures involved. It was what I wanted to explore when I was youngest.

Of course that was a stupid idea, I would never be allowed to go down there myself, but the sea gave me an idea. I want to understand why.

Why does Slenderman Kill some, Hallow others, and Proxify the rest? Why are we the poor sods who have to keep running? And why do I keep having this fog since being kidnapped?

I know I'm most likely losing my sanity, I need to get myself together again. I am me. I refuse to be anyone else. I keep saying my name, over and over again in my head, maybe help become a bit more of an early warning system. A way of getting out of there before it gets too bad. Like it did that night...

I don't remember waking Joel up, or typing any of it. JOEL HAS ICECREAM!

God I'm such a kid sometimes. =3

~Lucas

TEE HEE

I cant stop LAUGHING it's MAD!

MadMAdMADderMADDerMADDEstMADDEStMADDESTEST! HEHe!

JOEL IS asleep so I should be quiet...

Hehe. WE're dead... I SaW HIM! He's at TheDoor windo DOOR WINDOW DOOR... He'smiling...

cantrunCANtruncantRUNcantrunCANtruncantRUNcantrunCANtruncantRUNcantrunCANtruncantRUNcantrunCANtruncantRUNcantrunCANtruncantRUNcantrunCANtruncantRUNcantrunCANtruncantRUNcantrunCANtruncantRUNcantrunCANtruncantRUNcantrunCANtruncantRUNcantrunCANtruncantRUNcantrunCANtruncantRUNcantrunCANtruncantRUNcantrunCANtruncantRUNcantrunCANtruncantRUNcantrunCANtruncantRUN

it's foggy. I CAn't see mysELF fthink! My braiN hurts

the BAG had my passport, DOLLARZ! not MUTCH but enough for Uss.

Wait... Smieling? Zlendy doesn't smile! But I have fog... But not slendy... I should wake up Joel... I feel fuzzy...

NoNONONONONONONONONONONONONONONNO

I AM ME

Not a proxy, I'm not... FuckslendermanFuckslendermanFuckslendermanFuckslendermanFuckslendermanFuckslendermanFuckslendermanFuckslenderman...

-------------------------------



I looked on my phone and that was what was there. Lucas woke me up this morning, he'd torn his shoulder stitches and was in a state, I had to stitch him again and then we had to get out of there. I'm worried about him. Like, seriously worried. We went back to his house, collected some personal items, stuff to remember his family by. He seems different, jumping from terrified to jaded to determined for survival to this hopeless romantic. He keeps talking about fog though, how he "feels it" when he sees Tall, Dark and Faceless.

Melissa (I_L), apologies for not responding to your email. We've been getting out of here. Basically every time we settle down, Wolf is there like a fucking bloodhound. Looks like we have three pissed proxies after us, and they are damn close, too close all the time... We can't stop for longer than a few hours.

I'm currently, as for most of my posts, on a bus to nowhere in particular. I think we're headed to the sea. Maybe that will help Lucas get himself back. I'll do a proper post later...

In the meantime, keep safe guys.

- Joel

Well, we're both alive...

Huzzah! A blog written by both of us!

Joel: Ok, to get out of the country, there are three things we require:

1. Us being alive. 
2. Money. 
3. Passports. 

So far we had one of them, we were alive. But when Wolf caught Lucas, he had gotten a hold of his passport, keeping it in one of those small hidden safes in the warehouse. The key pad was touch tone, and he could remember the tune it made. So a half-arsed and downright dangerous plan was formed. If he kept a passport in there, perhaps there were other more interesting things we could take, like money.

We were gonna head back to the warehouse and steal from the slender man. 

So we did it last night.

We got in, it was quiet enough. It was dark but I couldn't hear anyone around, and the echos in the warehouse would have amplified anything. I turned on a torch and we headed to a desk off to the side. I didn't notice it there when I got to him earlier but yeah. It was there. Lucas went behind the desk and tapped on the safe's buttons.

I kept a light shone around the general area, wrench at the ready. I didn't like this situation, we were too vulnerable and if Slendy showed at the door, we'd have little in the way of a way out... Well it wasn't Him who showed at the door. Three of them, two wearing black hoodies and the kind of white masks you get at craft stores. The other was The Big Bad Wolf, brown hoodie, wolf mask, and his growling was echoing from every wall. Lucas swore, he couldn't get the safe open and was frantically trying different combinations as I muttered. "Get your knife out. We have company..." 

The two of them ran at me, I swung at one, they caught my wrist and punched my solarplexus in the blink of an eye, I was winded as I dropped the wrench, kneeing the figure in front of me in the gut. I think she was female, I heard her groan as I reached down to take the wrench again. I heard Lucas shout, "It's open!" As the other clambered over the desk, trying to get him. I was too distracted by the girl to get there in time

Lucas: I noticed the guy coming over, he had a great big carving knife and I swung up with my own puny little pocket knife. It caught him in the arm and stuck. He pulled away and it was wrenched out of my hand. I'd gotten maybe half of what was in there into this bag, he stabbed down at me and cut me where neck meets shoulder, I couldn't think. I was on the floor and weaponless, I reached in the safe, looking for something that could be of use. I pulled out a pistol... A glock or something. I'm not great with guns... It looked dangerous though... I swung round, pointing it at him, all the while probably bleeding gallons from my neck wound. "Get back." 

That seemed to work. I stood up and fell into a chair, gun pointed straight at him. He had a knife still, but was backing off. I pulled the bag onto my shoulder and stood up, right now I didn't care about whatever else was in there. "Let's get going..."

Joel: The sight of your Christian boyfriend looking pissed, bleeding and with a gun, is the most badass thing I've seen him do. It's no surprise that both of them backed off. Lucas was wounded... His t-shirt was bloodstained already. Lucas went around the desk, still pointing the gun at them, getting to me and making sure I was ok. I hadn't seen this side to him before. So determined. I've never been so proud of him. 

Then Wolfie pulled his own gun. 

Lucas pulled the trigger. 

*click*

"Shit run!"

And that we did. I broke the lock on this small door on the other side whilst the three of them chased after us, and then got out of there. We figured we were safe in the city again, so kept near people as best as we could. 

We dumped the gun in a local pond. UK law doesn't look kindly on someone carrying a firearm, so we got rid of it. It's better than being arrested.

So now, I'm pretty sure I've broken a couple of ribs, Lucas fared worse. I've done as best as I can, I stitched his knife wound, it was pretty shallow but damn close to an artery. I had to be careful and he will have to be careful for a while. No heavy lifting. 

We also paid a stop to somewhere else, but this post is already scarily long. We'll post everything another day. We both need some sleep...

Night all. 

- ~ Joel and Lucas

Also: If any of you runners, fighters, proxies, or followers fancy talking to us, we can be contacted at: Unspoken422@googlemail.com 

Loss

I think I'm ready to talk about it now, my side of the story... Joel is catching up on sleep on the coach. We take turns, a couple of hours at a time.  It's still a bit of a blur, memories do that kind of thing I guess.

I told Joel to wait outside the house. I wasn't out to them, so going in and saying. "Hi this is my boyfriend." Was probably not a good idea... I walked inside and there was blood, and the smell, like they had been dead for days when I'd only left them a couple of hours before.

I knew deep down that the Slenderfuck had gotten them, but I didn't quite believe it. Like, I could imagine my mum in the kitchen, cooking two tuna steaks. It was one of the first times I ate fish, I was about five and had to go to hospital because I got a bone lodged in my throat. Or my brother, how we shared a room for so long because the other one was full of










Sorry.

I can't think about it still without getting all torn up about it...

The thing is, this is really the first time I've been so close to death and what happened to them... I never had any pets, my family were really the only people I got to know. I'm not exactly good at making friends. My family was everything and Slenderman took it away.

Well... They were there, as Joel said. I saw them, didn't even have a chance to cry out. Wolf had me.I could feel this rubbery mask against me and the knife against my neck, it cut but not deeply. Self preservation and pain kept me from struggling.

Then we went outside, Joel having found us. It's been said before so I won't tell you what happened...
Only I didn't see the Slenderman behind Joel like he said he saw, I just saw him run away as I screamed for him to save me.

I can't remember much else, I remember waking up in a warehouse, spending a week in there, (There was a clock by the door. It was the only way I could keep myself busy.) dreading each time the Wolf came in because he was angry and spent a few hours with his knife with me...  Wolf is not the kind of Proxy you can shoot the breeze with. All I know is that he's strong, fucking intelligent, but he relies on basic instincts and his love for his Slendy.

I got out of the warehouse once, a couple of days in or so. I got to the forest, took a step inside and suddenly I was back in the chair, wolf pulling the mask up enough to reveal his mouth and getting a grip on my finger... Then screaming pain... I didn't try and run again... I saw Slenderfuck a couple of times too, he just stood there in front of me, I occasionally felt him touch me, but he never hurt me like Wolf did...

I'm aware that only a day or so passed outside. So I guess this counts as gained time instead of lost time...

But that's my part of the story... After Slendy touched me, I've been getting this fog, like all of my senses are dulled and I can't focus. It feels periodic, just a gentle throb of numbness, overwhelming me. I've heard that other runners get that feeling, a sort of static or fog inside their heads. But at the same time... My family were murdered because of me and I guess dreaming your way through life is an effective coping mechanism...

Joel is the only person I have left, he deserves more than what I am currently. But if this little mission of ours works and we both don't end up dead, tortured, or worse. We can get somewhere we can help.

Stay safe everyone, we certainly aren't. =D

~Lucas

Our first argument.

Lucas and I argued a couple of hours ago about that last post.

I was angry, at him. At the Slenderman. At this whole situation. He needed to snap out of it. It's like he's given up on reality, he just wants to stop everything. I practically wanted to slap him and scream. "FUCKING PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!"

But I didn't, see below.

Me: So. You're giving up?

Lucas: Yup. I'm gonna get a bus back home as soon as I can.

Me: No you're not.

Lucas: Why?

Me: Fucks sake Lucas, do you honestly think this guy is Death Incarnate?

Lucas: Actually, yes. Look at my family. Look at everything that happened. I have nothing left, I can't run anymore. Not on my own.

That was a bit of a slight to me really. I've kept him safe as much as I can, I've tried to keep him out of it. I'm not a hero, but I got him out of Wolf's grasp... I treated his finger, I got him on a bus over here.

Me: You have me.

Lucas: And what happened last time I trusted you? He held his hand up, gesturing to the bandaged finger. That is the best thing that happened to me that day. The Wolf, he-

He broke down. I sat him down on a bed and gently reached around him, pulling him to me as he cried against my chest. I just ended up whispering "never again" to him. Over and over, trying to soothe him.

We stayed like that for about an hour when he sniffled and looked up at me. I can't tell you what he said, but to put it simply, he convinced me and we are going to do something really really stupid, armed with a wrench, a knife, our relentless optimism and Mr Happy-No-Face nipping at our heels.

Yay for ridiculous ideas!

-Joel

Down south.

We're in London, and for the first time I feel safe. We're keeping pretty central, staying in a Hostel until we work out where the hell we're gonna go next. The best part of this is lots of people, it's never still here since where I'm located is pretty much a damn tourist attraction. This means, should he arrive here, there are witnesses. Apparently being in a crowd is a good way of being safe from Him. I can't remember what blog said that but yeah, I trust it enough to be able to sleep at night.

Although the Big Bad Wolf... I'm nervous still about him. I probably knocked him out, but I doubt one hit would have killed him. Either way, I sleep with easy access to that monkey wrench... Lucas still isn't talking to me, but he read the comments in his last post, he's being less malicious, in fact he actually let me clean and bandage his finger today. Which is good because I was worried of it getting infected. He's not been sleeping too well, but then nor have I. It's been difficult to focus. I've been getting nightmares of what happened when I left him.

To be honest, I don't think he's willing to talk and I don't think I'm ready to talk about it with him either.

Stay safe, all of you.

-Joel

Still alive.

Ok, first things first. Who am I?

I am Joel Sydney Harper. The only son of Lucy Harper (deceased) and some guy I don't know/care about. 

The luckiest fucker in the world.

Well, I would be if Lucas would speak to me. Or if he wasn't hurt. Or if I hadn't been such a coward before. Or a thousand other things that are going on right now...

Ok, starting from the start. 

I came to the park armed. I had a a small pocket knife resting in (LE GASP!) my pocket, along with a monkey wrench hanging from my belt that had a good weight to it so I assumed it'd down him if I hit him with it. 

Everything went as expected, Wolfie met me where I met Lucas that time. He then headed into the forested area. I followed him quickly as he led me through and toward a small warehouse. You know the kind that always happens to be the bad guy's hide out in films.  It was around that time where I slipped the wrench out of my belt and into my sleeve. 

Lucas was sat in a chair right in the centre, there was a lot of blood on the floor around him, his hands tied behind his back. I called out to him and he looked up and just looked back down again. It was then that the Big Bad Wolf pointed to another chair. Presumably telling me to sit down. 

It's a little fuzzy at this point. I think I dropped the wrench down and smacked him with the end of it. And I'm pretty sure he crumpled, but that's about it. I remember grabbing Lucas and seeing Slendy and running hand in hand with him as all the lights went out in the warehouse.

How it must have looked, two young men running hand in hand from a skinny, faceless, giant with too long arms and legs. I can imagine it would have looked so surreal. But we got into town, we were safe. I sat Lucas down in a Starbucks and got us both coffees, trying to let the adrenaline wear off. It was then that I noticed his finger... 

A large part of his left ring finger had been cut off at the joint. I asked to have a look, took his hand, but he wrenched it back. Cradling it against his chest and glaring at me. He hadn't said a single word to me. But then, I guess that's right... He'd seen his family killed and his friend desert him. Of course he blames me...

I can't imagine what he's going through...

I'm writing this on a bus down south, I'm going to head to where the most people are at. Maybe see if I can get out of the country with him. I want out of this nightmare and I want to take Lucas with me. I want to make him safe again.

The bus is coming to a stop, I'm gonna stop writing for now, Lucas seems to be waking up. He's been out pretty much since we caught the bus a few hours ago and keeps crying himself awake. I'm gonna tell him I'm keeping up with the blog, letting the few people who are out there and care about this, know that we're as safe as we can be for now. Either way, we've got a lot of miles to go and I pray to those non existant gods that we succeed in outrunning Him.

After that I'm gonna get some shuteye, I haven't slept in two days, apparently that's a bad thing to do.

Good night whoever is reading this.

-Joel

Meet up.

Almost as soon as I posted a comment suggesting a meet up, I got Lucas leaving a message on my answer phone. He sounded not too bad, scared, but still alive. He said that if I didn't turn myself in, meeting him at the same park as before, tonight, he would be killed.

That fucker! He had me pegged from the word "go." I've seen his profile, his blog, talking about us, what he's doing to Lucas. He wants me and doesn't care who he goes through... I can't go to the police, they'll be too busy asking questions about Lucas's family. It's not like they'll believe I'm being stalked by Tall Dark and Faceless.

So what am I supposed to do? I mean, this IS a trap. But my conscience says "go." Dammit Wolf. I hate you so much... Either way, I'm gonna keep armed from now on...

Edit: If I do do this, I am breaking every damn rule in the book. The park has trees, lots of trees. Yes it's near town, but I doubt it'll be in the open part of the park. Plus Wolf knows I'm going to be there and has time to prepare for me. The place is public though, that's one good point about it.

-Joel

Think Think Think..

Calmer now. Still running, but calmer now.

Ok what happened, what happened...

What did happen?

I met Lucas, the place was a park in the centre of town, we'd walked together there once or twice and the moment seemed right. He looked at me and we- DAMMIT!

It was an intelligent place, it was quiet enough, but a couple of minutes of running and you were in the centre of town. I met him there, it was safe. I held him in my arms. He then told me that he needed to go home and collect a few things. He didn't tell me what happened that made him believe but he seemed out of it. Scared even. I didn't press.

We took the bus to his house. He said he'd be right back.

Ten minutes passed, then twenty... I decided I was going to go in, ask his parents if I could have a chat with him. I knocked on the door and pushed it open, it was then that I felt a tackiness under my boots. The house was dark mostly but I could smell it, like each step I took made me more repulsed. This was the first time I'd been to his house, so this was all new to me. I walked through, tripping over a ladder that had fallen on the floor and barely rescuing myself. I heard crying from another room and moved to flick the light on.

The Wolf had him. I... He had him close, a knife against his throat. All around was the source of the blood, painting the cream walls red... It's difficult to not feel sick thinking about it. There were three people sat on the couch, two big and one shorter. All of them had had their faces removed, presumably with a knife and chests cracked open like someone had been practising autopsies, but their cavities were filled with plastic bags... I'm so so sorry Lucas... I tried to protect you from this...

Wolfie told me to go into the garden, he followed with Lucas, in shock, at knife point still. I couldn't do anything at this point. I stood there as he said "Swap." He wanted me to trade places with Lucas and I was going to! But I felt something, I turned around and He was there, right in front of me.

So I ran. I couldn't save Lucas and I ran... He started screaming and I just kind of pushed it out of my mind, I didn't want to know who I was leaving in His hands... I don't know if he's alive or if he's dead or if he's been hallowed or tortured.

I may as well have taken the knife to him myself...

I should have done the swap...

If I hear anything about Lucas, I'll post on here. But right now this is me signing off.

-Joel

Faith.

I had a note pushed under my door tonight. I don't know what to think about it. All it said was "Faith."

Faith.

What about faith? I have faith in my family, that they love me, I have faith in Joel, that we'll see each other again. I have faith in-

Ah.

There is one place that I have been lacking in faith. Christianity.

When I first started liking guys, I pushed it back in my head. My religion said it was wrong, I believed everything else, I pushed it back, I repressed myself.

I repressed myself and it broke me. I didn't stop liking guys, I refused to like guys. I listened to sermons, and I sung to all the hymns and songs and I listened to them saying. "Be the best you can be." Or "God loves you personally." And silently hearing after it. "As long as you're not gay." 


Then one day, I stood up, made a big deal of getting my coat and gloves on, (It was winter,) and I walked out during the sermon, slamming the door. A few days later I came out and I had NEVER felt so free in my life. The vicar used a story, and it made me truly angry. It was about someone who came into the church, must have been a good ten or twenty years before. (The guy is ancient.)

She was a woman who said she wanted to know God. She went into church and felt the spirit around her. But when she got talking to the parishioners, they all told her she had to stop being with her female partner. She was in love with her, but she wanted to know this God she felt whilst she was in church.

So she asked her pastor.

Who told her that homosexuality was a sin. And that if she ever wanted to know the love of god, then she would have to split up with her girlfriend. So she left. She didn't want to split up with her girlfriend in search of some god who may or may not bring her happiness.

I'm sure there was a point, something like "There will always be people who refuse the word of god." But to be honest, they asked her to choose between a love she was familiar with, and a love that may or may not even be there and she hardly knew about.

That in my eyes, is one good way of being a bad human being, let alone a Christian.

But faith, what I believe in, what I get strength from. I get strength from God, I get strength from family, I get strength from Joel, I get strength from feeling like I'm not alone, like I have some semblance of belonging.

Well... Enough spilling everything about me. Dammit I need stop fucking crying.

I'll be better tomorrow, less emotional and stressed I guess. I finish my meds, I'll go out for the first time in what feels like weeks, it'll be a good day. :)

~Lucas

Uh... Hi there...

Well, Lucas gave me access to his account. He sent a text with the user and password to my phone...

Bad privacy practice aside, I just wanted to tell you all, (yes you too Lukie.) That I am well. I'm running, but I'm well. I'm sorry I had to run and the circumstances around it. But I had no choice in the matter. I saw Him. He tore up my room, destroyed my laptop. I packed money and clothes and I fucking got out of there.

I wish so much that we could be together right now, but it's difficult. Hopefully, if He's hunting me, then He isn't hunting you. I just want you to be safe from this guy. Especially when I found out that you were getting ill, running is not something for someone who should probably be bed bound.

Either way I adore you and if your nightmare changes again, or you see Him or proxies or anything, post here. I'll get in contact and try and get you out of there.

-Joel

EDIT: Also the code wasn't mine, something's off here...