Joel...

I heard about the bruises you give him,
the ones he tries to hide from everyone around.
Don't deny it.
You hit him regularly.

Sometimes he deserves it for shooting his mouth off.
Or trying to hurt you.
But sometimes it is just rage.
You can't control it so you lash out.

Sound familiar?

You will have received an email.
A location.
I can help you Joel,
I can help you control it.

I have gotten better.
You hate hurting Lucas,
don't you?

Let me show you how to stop.
I still know Lucas is better off with me.
But I want him happy.
He has made it clear now.

I am not enough for him.

And if I am not enough for him..

How can I be enough for Master?

The Big Ba









Mario

Turns out things could be worse.

Lucas posted yesterday that he could be worse off.

I suppose I am.

Our fights have been getting worse, any effort to keep Lucas in check is getting less and less likely to work. And... I think I am struggling to keep myself in check as well.

We fought yesterday on a stairwell, Lis saw us... Or rather, she saw me choke him 'till he almost passed out... I remember feeling my hands around his neck, how good it felt... How easily I could take his life away... Then I snapped out of it and ran.

We kissed and made up after but I don't wanna be like Mario, I really don't.

I'm not...

I'm not an abusive person.

I swear I'm not.

I swear it on his life.

-Joel

I think it's safe to say I could be worse.

It's Lucas here.

I read Mario's post yesterday morning.

It felt better than it should have. At least now I know what the fuck he's doing.

That nagging thought at the back of my mind is gone. Now it's right at the forefront.

Wolf is still alive. (Much to my distaste.)

Elaine has gone off to save those students.

And these lovely people are looking after us at hope.

That's about it...

~Lucas

Did the.
Big.
Bad.
Man.
scare you?

I'll rescue you if you want me to.
Just like last time.

I'll be your white knight.
Think about it, where was Joel when you were attacked?
He was on the other side of the country,

killing people who don't matter.

I was the one to pull you away,
the one to rescue you and
the one to get you into safety.

I welcomed you into the family with open arms.

You matter Lucas, you really do.

You don't understand yet.

You will.

You will.

My love.

So, Lucas is a swinger apparently.

Heh, they'll both kill me for that one. Hi! It's Josh here again, back for another cool time writing the blog.

What you missed:

• Cat fights between The Gays.
• Lucas getting a sword.
• More Cat Fights.
• Me getting on Joel's nerves with Nyan Cat.
• Me beating Lucas at Super Smash Brothers.
• Did I mention cat fights?

Ok... Where do I start?

So, I've been left on my own quite a lot in Hope, I don't mind it, but when Joel and Lucas fight, I'm glad of it. Apparently the kids don't like it when mommy and daddy fight. Especially when both of them have Wolf. I don't like being around them that often. It upsets me.

Although the fights got less bad when Lucas got the sword. He's been practising every day gripping it. Trying to focus that pent up rage into the sword itself. Seems to be working.

Although they were arguing about Thuggee before. Lucas wanted us to run. Joel didn't, trying to reassure him that everything was okay. Eventually Joel won, but Lucas is still scared. You can see it in how he acts. He's not a fighter any more, I doubt he ever was. 

He's just as scared as I was before I met them. If you mention the guy to him, he starts trembling, scratching at the back of his neck, looking like all he wants to do is curl up into a ball. I feel really sorry for him. I really do.

Either way, he's been working on it, training himself up. I just watch him, watch the movements. You should have seen how excited he was when he managed to stop the swing without dropping the Katana. It was like he'd won the lottery.

He's getting better, I don't think he thought he would. But he did.

Also, Lucas, having been trained in the art of Kirby by Grand Master Joel, was defeated in mortal combat by Mario today. I win. I win EVERYTHING! AH HA!

Josh

So for Halloween I'm going as a...

...scary person with a Katana!

A day late!

That's right ladies and gentlemen! I have a new sword!

Elaine hooked me up with a guy she knew at a ren fair or something like that.

Of course, it's not as personalised as my cricket bat, but it's far nicer than my old sword.

I've been practising holding it again, I can't use it like I used to. My grip is too loose, I tried to swing and my hands were in so much agony that I dropped the sword. But the outside of my wounds have healed. I should finally be out of those stitches I've been trying so hard not to break for such a long time in a couple of days.

Joel and I, we're pretty happy right now. Been going through a rough spot, but I... I think he helped me get this other thing under control. I see why Joel ran, dual personalities sucks when you're only trying to express a single one. Hints of the other bleed through.

I guess it's like why Wolf still was convinced he loved me, that what he was doing for me. Joel bled through.

Plus Josh... Well Josh is being the little hellraiser that he normally is...

Ok, Josh is watching me type slowly, and he told me that he "resents that remark". Yay! I'm teaching him language that isn't swearing!

So yes, the exciting thing in the past week or so is the whole Michael going crazy and leaving and then coming back. It's pretty much summed up here and there isn't much else to say. Bad things happened, and now they're not happening. I'm just happy that things are reasonably quiet right now. Just working on getting my legs back to scratch.

That and I don't know why Michael got angry at me yesterday. I don't get it at all. Is it just conflicting personalities? I mean, I have to joke and keep a sense of humour going, otherwise what else is there?

Meh, I don't get it when shit like that happens.

~Lucas

Negotiations

Before I start, I am sure Lucas could make this far more poetic and pretty sounding. It's difficult for me to write at all really, but I suppose this gets to the practical sense of it...

Lucas and I had a chat last night.

Well I say chat... I'm gonna sound abusive when I say this but I'm really not.

Lucas told me he wanted to talk to me... I needed to make it clear that I was in charge... So well. I goaded him into attacking me and he spent the next five minutes face down on the floor with me just keeping him from hurting himself from struggling. I'm not sure if you know this already, but he pulled the revolver on Michael the day before.

It's a matter of Wolves... He is one, he doesn't look it, he doesn't act it, but he feels it. Just like me, back in New York.

For want of a better metaphor, part of us are fighting to establish top dog. (God I hate puns...) So I did what I had to to establish that.

He's far worse off than he lets on. I know it. He knows it. So I stayed like that, trying to calm him.

It was only then that I could talk to him. Now that fight was out of the way...

Well.

Well. We got to the actual meat of the matter.

He blamed me for leaving him alone.
I established there was no other choice in the matter.
We kissed.
We made up.

That's all there is to it that's important.

-Joel