Shady is back in black.

Yep. Our Shady Lady has returned to us. The house is fucking on something, I swear, everyone's so happy. It's interesting really, feeling that the family is back together again. There's this wholeness that's difficult to describe. Like, I feel I'm home. I was outside this morning at maybe 3 AM, knelt, bare footed, with Joel's stolen katana. I've been not touching anything in a mix of recovering and just general fear, that envelope is hanging over me like a noose.I don't even want to look at it.

I pulled my hoodie on first of all, it felt a little chilly at this time of night. Then I did a couple of stretches. I remember my first few days of Kendo, every time I practiced, I ended up with blisters on my hands and basically it'd take me a week to get my flexibility back. I held the saya (sheath) lightly in my left hand, then pressed it against my hip. My right hand gripped loosely on the handle as I drew the sword. Pulling it into that familiar stance, toes parallel, heels off the ground, right foot forward, point aimed at your invisible opponent's neck.

The first thing that struck me was the weight of the blade, considering in Kendo, the Bokken (The wooden sword.) or the shinai, (The bamboo one used for full contact.) are maybe half a kilogram, this felt far heavier. I brought the sword up, slowly, swinging it over my head and then back down, stopping it with my right hand just above where my opponents head would be, getting used to the weight and whispering "Men."

I did it again, faster this time, ignoring the fact my chest was starting to ache again, this time stopping the blade at the wrists of my opponent, who also had a sword. "Kote."

And again, only twisting the blade so it swung in a horizontal arc, stopping at the waist. "Do."

And finally, my fourth motion, not bringing it over my head this time, but lunging forward, aiming for the neck. "Tsuki." That one twinged something and I nearly dropped the sword.

I stopped there, sheathing it. My heart was pounding in my chest and I somehow managed to fall asleep on the grass. I need to heal before I try that again I think. And not just heal in being able to move around.

Today, it looks like I have a ghost to take care of in that envelope.

~Lucas