You know, if I wasn't so hurt right now, I'd have found it a little funny. I started this blog to discuss ideas for my Slenderblog, and now
Now.
Now I've lost everything. I'm the "poor guy who's gonna have his life turned upside down" I've lost my life already, death just hasn't caught up with me. I kind of always imagined Slenderman as this spectral faceless figure. A modern day Grim Reaper.
And he's coming for me. I can't stay in London forever, I saw Him above my bed, watching. He has no eyes but he FUCKING WATCHES!
I did nothing... I didn't shout, I didn't cry, I just went back to sleep.
And then I woke up, it was morning.
Joel took one glance at me and noticed that I have marks on my arms. I looked it's true. Long red fingermarks... Occasionally tinged with black where it bruised. Like someone had been holding me down, holding me still.
There are three stereotypes that people tend to follow when they see Him. The Fighters, The Runners and those who just give up. Joel is a Runner and... And I'm not cut out for it... I always imagined my life as one where I'd settle down. Fall in love with some girl and have a family. A small house, just big enough for us. A garden. I'd have a job where I don't have to work that hard, maybe at a pharmaceutical company, making chemicals for testing against diseases. I'd be quietly in the background, helping others in my own way.
Have any of you heard the phrase; "An Englishman's home is his castle?" Well that is what I am planning on doing. I'm going to go home. Sit down with that great big carving knife my parents always told me never to use when I was younger and wait. Who for, I dunno. But I expect someone will be there.
If it's a proxy then I will defend myself. I'm not going to feel the pain I felt before... Never again. If it is him. Then I'll take his hand into the next life. I can't fight him. People have tried. They tend to die. I can't run from him, I'm not cut out for it. So my only option is to give up.
Slenderman: A message to you. If you are this grim reaper I keep dreaming of, just take me away. Don't play with me, just finish it.
I'm tired.
~Lucas
I know very little about Him, no matter how many blogs and vlogs I've seen. But if there's one thing I can truly know from experience, it's that it doesn't matter how many times you beg for Him to take you. You saw my breakdown. He doesn't kill you until He's damn well ready to.
ReplyDeleteThere's something I didn't bother posting on my blog yesterday because at the time it seemed to unsurprising to me. My mother yelled at me when we were at lunch because I had gotten so depressed about the storm that I wasn't able to do any of my work. Full-on /screamed/ at me in the parking lot, then dropped me off at home and drove away. I felt stupid and useless and I didn't know what the hell to do except sit on the doorstep outside and cry.
It took Him a few minutes to show up, but He eventually did. Stood right in front of me, so close that if I had reached out my hand I would have been able to touch Him. I truly thought that this whole damn thing was over and done with, that He was finally going to take me away and I wouldn't have to suffer anymore. But He did nothing. He stood there, and looked down at me. Eventually something compelled me to stand, and I just went inside like there had been nothing there.
Then I sat on my bed and laughed myself to tears. Perhaps it's the world we live in once this all begins--we live in an alternate universe created by irony. And if everything is ironic, nothing is ever what it is thought to be.
I'm only sixteen. I'm incapable of running. I have no way to support myself. I'm still young and naive and have no direction to follow in my life. No string in the labyrinth, but the Minotaur is right on my heels.
You've a better chance of survival than I.
He won't kill you until its over.
ReplyDeleteTrust me.
kid, square your shoulders, stand tall, and take it as it comes.
it never gets easier, but its what you gotta do.
Z: Hardly any of us have the ability to support ourselves whilst running. But what matters is that they're running. Keep near homeless shelters and the likes, follow M's example. It's not a bad one to follow.
ReplyDeleteMaurice: Yeah... I was in a state earlier. I do need to make the best of the situation I'm in... It's just difficult considering recent events. It's like I've been sleepwalking through it all and I'm only just starting to realise what happened.
Thanks.
~Lucas