Sunday, 24 July 2011

Watching the sunrise.

Cam's dead.

I don't know what to say. Joel woke me up about three hours ago and told me that. And I can't quite believe it. The first thing I was was angry, I just threw myself at Joel, letting him get his arms around me as I just hit at his chest. Crying. We were both crying. I just wanted to go there and kill Prosper.

Cam was one of the nicest guys I've met since this shit went down. He was caring, and mothering and didn't care what people thought and now he's dead.

I think it was a mutual decision to break into that other half of the vodka we'd bought. But Joel convinced us that we needed a walk. We walked for two hours, toward the edge of town. We found a building that looked abandoned and made our way (see: broke) in.

The both of us made our way to the roof, sat on the edge, maybe four or five stories up and just drank. It was still dark, the sun started to rise and we just watched it, talked, and drank.

Joel started the conversation really. "Remember that apple pie?"
I looked confused really, and just leaned into him. "What?"
"The first day we arrived here, we met Elaine and Cam, and Cam decided that it would be a good way of introducing us to America by showing us the cuisine. Burgers, Fries, and hot apple pie that he'd baked just for us." He put an arm around me and I just leaned into him.
"What about when we were learning from Elaine, he'd drag the three of us away because we were being too serious business and make us watch shitty TV."
"Or the bachelor party. God I hated the fact you made me cross dress for it."
I actually laughed. "What? Cam was the one who chose that."
We were silent for a little while.
It was around that time we realised that we had finished the bottle and Joel picked it up.

Joel kissed me and said one thing. "Remember the good times, accept the bad times. Don't ever lose hope that things can be better. To Cam. The kindest motherfucker I've ever had the pleasure of meeting." He dropped it off the building. I heard the shattering of glass down below and just held him, watching the sun come up.

We're still on the roof right now, listening to music, Joel's got one earbud and I have the other. I don't feel like going anywhere. I just need to be able to feel the sun on my face.

Elaine keep yourself safe, you had better not die on us either.

So don't forget to breathe
Don't forget to breathe,
Your whole life is here
No eleventh hour reprieve
So don't forget to breathe

Keep your head above water
But don't forget to breathe



  1. He would've loved that. Thank you.


  2. I just noticed this comment. And I kind of hope he saw us. Wherever he is now. It still hurts, but there's nothing more we can do.